Confessions of a teenage drama queen

I've just realised my writing skills are awful but then again i was only average when it comes to achademic studies so i was never gona be another Victoria Beckham when it comes to talking about myself but then again i doubt she could string a half decent sentance together.

I forgot to mention in my other blogs that I love singing. Its sorta what I wanna do but am not very hopeful about being successful, i just don't have the belief and will power, i give up easily. thats my motto: When it doubt give-up. I sing because its the only thing i am really good at and to be honest i am bloody good. it really winds me up when you see kids on x-factor with their pushy parents ( generally mothers) saying that they're really good and everyone in their family thinks so. Hello?! Theres a reason why its only your family who say you can sing. Tossers. They really piss me off. And they're generally quite ugly, i think its cruel what they do on x-factor, i went for it and did't even make it to see the judges. Probably because they could sense i was strong and wasn't going to burst into tears for the cameras and didn't have a sob story to tell like my parents are dead or something.

So yeah i am a good singer in my own right and more than just my family have told me so thats how I know. I sound boring, shallow and like i have a big ego don't I? I am just writing how I feel and what comes into my head, i have never done this before and its helping me, so doesn't really matter if its crap.

I like the fact that I have an ego in the performing arts industry you can't afford not to, otherwise you'd be ripped apart. All these lovies and thespians your surrounded by don't take any fucking prisoners so if you can't beat them join them. The only egotistical people that annoy me are girl singers who are my age, god they wind me up. Its just a constant battle with them and unless they are extra nice which they generally aren't, i make them not like me and despise me. In a way i am artificially confident. People who have ego's aren't neccessarily aresholes. My college friends all have quite big egos and generally love themselves, and aprt from a select few i love them. We really just one great big class full of ego's, and i don't think our new teahcer know's what to do with us. I am also quite open, we all are, i love that, people weren't like that in mum's day. Vicki who is the class lesbain came in the other day and stated that she had had sex with her girlfriend twice last night and made laura come on both occasions. Lovely. Emma, who is so confident its imtimidating always talks about her sex life in class, ot anyone who will listen. And then gay boy who isn't gay told us he had been sleeping with this 28 year old women for four months we couldn't wait to tell everyone and even the teacher congratualted him. I love my college friends, of course i could pick a fault with all of them, but they do make me happy and i really will be sad to leave them if i leave to go to the navy or to the singing school just thinking about it makes me sad. Even though we will try to keep in touch it will never be the same again. Ever. We will all move on and make new friends but i don't think i will ever forget them just those precious moments we shared. oh god pass the sick bucket. shut-up kate you big looser. but yeah you get the picture about.....well actually i don't no what the point in this blog was....

Ok so my two day drinking session is over. Gutted. I may look like shit but i'm just getting warmed up baby! Thursday night was pretty dam good. I looked probs one of the best there, not much to compare to tho, the pics we were taking made me look a bit fat. That guy i liked tunred up and ignored me apart from saying hello so i was pretty miffed. This other guy that i kinda fancied kept asking my mate if i was 'up for it' so in the end i just got with him instead. Ended up 'sleeping' on the bathroom floor with him. Not good. I could hear my mate in the other room with his piece of stuff. It was vile so i ended up going downstairs after this guy had fallen asleep and sleeping on the sofa bed with the guy that i liked before. In the morning. well about half six we woke up and just sorta talked for abit. We tried to sleep and we kept getting our faces like really close but i thought he knew about me and this other guy so i didn't make a move was just going to wait for him too but he didn't but it was still awesome. People kept coming up to me in the morning whilest i was lying next to the guy of my dreams and say 'so you and john aye?' how fucking insensative just because i got with another guy doesn't mean i don't like the orginal one! So if he didn't no before he does now. Grrrrrrrr! Stupid me!. So John the complete areshole who obviously saw me lying in the bed next to this other guy put two and two together and came up with 5. So he left without so much as a 'call me'. Tosser. So the following evening I put my freakum dress on and headed on down to the White Hart in Sleaford for this pimps and whores fancy dress party. I've gotta say I looked smoking. It was pretty good i guess i bought the guy i liked a drink and he was being pretty friendly and stuff and i wasn't trying too hard but then my lesbian friend came up to me and was like 'i hear you got laid last night' oh my god how embaressing and this poor guy didn't know where to look, so i just thought fuck it, he thinks i am a slag he can think what he likes. Got drunk. Police were called. Tried to hug a police officer. Went home. Job done. Next!

Well i'm excited. I have been invited to a fancy dress party next Friday in Sleford. The theme is pimps and whores. I have already decided what I am wearing, a purple mini dress, red lipstick maybe some fish nets, killer heels and fake eyelashes. I will look the dogs bollocks. The only trouble is when I get dressed up there is always someone looking better than me and it turns out i don't look as good as i originally thought i did from the photos. I look overweight and drunk. Which, in essence sums me up perfectly.
There is a guy going that i really like so i am not going to get that drunk, because i am complete arse when i am drunk. But if there is some size 8 model i am soooo going to smack that bitch up! No but seriusly what i suppose i'll do is getting wreeeking in a corner and then insult everyone and have to go home early. It all rests in this guy's taste. Does he like twigs or the chunkier variety?

My pimp has to be the campest person I know. Bless him. But its not about the size of your pimp its what you do with it I'll only ditch him when i get there.

I told my mum what the theme was and she was like oh thats nice dear. And i told my dad and he was like you are not going out dressed like a whore! He did the whole high and mighty thing when he really couldn't give a toss. My dads like that.

Oh yeah! Because sleaford is quite a way away, i have nowhere to stay, and this girl on my course lives not far from there. I found out that she had asked my other friends to stay at hers but not me! I always thought she had a problem with me! So i am gonna invite myself. But shes the type of person who'll say no! And its just because i got really drunk at hers once and smashed and oil lamp and then the next time i got realy really drunk and threw up over her brothers mattress but we flipped it so she didn't know. And then had to go to bed early! but i apologised! what more does she want.