Confessions of a teenage drama queen

Confessions of a teenage drama queenhttp://confessions567.blog.co.uk/en-EUhourly82000-01-01T12:00+00:00Confessions of a teenage drama queenhttp://confessions567.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/21/5f9e31aae151753c026dfd76005c4e_160x200.jpgtitle-5001506http://confessions567.blog.co.uk/2008/11/08/everybodys-changing-and-i-don-t-feel-the-same-thats-5001506/2008-11-08T00:03:01+01:00 'Everybodys changing and I don't feel the same' Thats how I feel. I really don't know what to do Its been a while since I wrote my last blog and am sorry to say things haven't really changed. I passed out of college with a distinction, distinction, merit which is; for any of you that doesn't understand; a few marks away from sheer brilliance. Decided to join the RAF. Not sure why. Well yes actually i am sure. I want mum to be proud of me and also Grandad who was a Sqaudron Leader in the second world war and something of a local celebrity in his village. I have recently got to know my Grandad more and have to say he is the most brilliant, intelligant, interesting and most gereatric person I no. Mum can't be doing with him but I shed a tear every time I think about him passing which I don't think is too long away. Needless to say he is immensely proud of me and keeps saying he can't wait to see me in my 'blues'. But, and there is a but, I can't help feeling there is something I'm not doing right, something missing somehow. I don't think I was destined to join the RAF, it is not my fate and that somewhere along the line fate will catch up with me and bite me on my ever increasing rear- end. All my friends have gone to Uni bar a few no-hopers. I thought I'd be ok, I thought that nothing would really change and I'd find myself not missing them and everything is carrying on as normal. But no, things have changed, I find myself looking therough my contact list on my mobile seeing who I can call for a good night out or to go for some lunch with. There is no-one. I have no-one. My best friend has gone to Lancaster Uni to study law, I couldn't be more pleased and also a little jealous, and also another good friend has gone to persue her dream at West Theames Uni to study performing arts. Now that I am jealous of. Why can't I be like? Go to uni now and worry about a career later. I was taught from an early age to be practical and think of thr future, what could i possibly achieve by going to do performing arts? I hate acting, can't dance for shit and singing? Well singing wasn't really going to work out for me was it? I don't have the drive, the determination, the spark that gets these one hit wonders into the charts. Facebook is awash with photos of my friends enjoying themselves at Uni with a glass of VK in one hand and a face that says; 'Wish you where here-not!' I feel awful and low, where am I? Part time job at Laura Ashley, drinking on the weekends, smoking the rest of the time. Waiting for the RAF to snap me and take me away. It doesn't work like that. So the RAF it is then, good pay, chance to see the world, fit men, cheap booze and a lovely pension at the end of it. Its all very exciting. Wish me luck I have a feeling I'm going to need it <a href="http://confessions567.blog.co.uk/2008/11/08/everybodys-changing-and-i-don-t-feel-the-same-thats-5001506/#comments">Comments</a> 'Everybodys changing and I don't feel the same'

Thats how I feel. I really don't know what to do
Its been a while since I wrote my last blog and am sorry to say things haven't really changed.

I passed out of college with a distinction, distinction, merit which is; for any of you that doesn't understand; a few marks away from sheer brilliance.

Decided to join the RAF. Not sure why. Well yes actually i am sure. I want mum to be proud of me and also Grandad who was a Sqaudron Leader in the second world war and something of a local celebrity in his village. I have recently got to know my Grandad more and have to say he is the most brilliant, intelligant, interesting and most gereatric person I no. Mum can't be doing with him but I shed a tear every time I think about him passing which I don't think is too long away. Needless to say he is immensely proud of me and keeps saying he can't wait to see me in my 'blues'.

But, and there is a but, I can't help feeling there is something I'm not doing right, something missing somehow. I don't think I was destined to join the RAF, it is not my fate and that somewhere along the line fate will catch up with me and bite me on my ever increasing rear- end.

All my friends have gone to Uni bar a few no-hopers. I thought I'd be ok, I thought that nothing would really change and I'd find myself not missing them and everything is carrying on as normal. But no, things have changed, I find myself looking therough my contact list on my mobile seeing who I can call for a good night out or to go for some lunch with. There is no-one. I have no-one. My best friend has gone to Lancaster Uni to study law, I couldn't be more pleased and also a little jealous, and also another good friend has gone to persue her dream at West Theames Uni to study performing arts. Now that I am jealous of. Why can't I be like? Go to uni now and worry about a career later. I was taught from an early age to be practical and think of thr future, what could i possibly achieve by going to do performing arts? I hate acting, can't dance for shit and singing? Well singing wasn't really going to work out for me was it? I don't have the drive, the determination, the spark that gets these one hit wonders into the charts.

Facebook is awash with photos of my friends enjoying themselves at Uni with a glass of VK in one hand and a face that says; 'Wish you where here-not!' I feel awful and low, where am I? Part time job at Laura Ashley, drinking on the weekends, smoking the rest of the time. Waiting for the RAF to snap me and take me away. It doesn't work like that. So the RAF it is then, good pay, chance to see the world, fit men, cheap booze and a lovely pension at the end of it. Its all very exciting.

Wish me luck
I have a feeling I'm going to need it

Comments

]]>Poem, my first one in like ages!http://confessions567.blog.co.uk/2007/11/17/poem_my_first_one_in_like_ages~3310779/2007-11-17T15:37:39+01:00 I cry for my mother's youth The dry eyes, milky soft skin That haunt her daydreams Daddy's uniform smells of her generation. The sickly, sweet stench of democracy and ever-lasting fairness. The yester year is gone and so is the future. Her hands are not welcoming and her eyes do not speak. The bastards who slept Have not caught the worm It lies alone waiting to be plucked from the brink of defeatedness What use is this bottle when all I see is clearness. No answer? No question? Just visibility She ponders, waits, exists. This is basically about my mother. Just in case you don't understand: Her father was a pilot in the RAF during the second world war She has a problem with drink. We all do. I think she resents but loves me. Comments would be great. But please remember I am 17 and quite naive and stupid. So the poem is probably not as deep as it sounds. Cheers <a href="http://confessions567.blog.co.uk/2007/11/17/poem_my_first_one_in_like_ages~3310779/#comments">Comments</a> I cry for my mother's youth
The dry eyes, milky soft skin
That haunt her daydreams
Daddy's uniform smells of her generation.
The sickly, sweet stench of democracy and ever-lasting fairness.

The yester year is gone and so is the future.
Her hands are not welcoming and her eyes do not speak.

The bastards who slept
Have not caught the worm
It lies alone waiting to be plucked from the brink of defeatedness
What use is this bottle when all I see is clearness.
No answer?
No question?
Just visibility
She ponders, waits, exists.

This is basically about my mother.
Just in case you don't understand:
Her father was a pilot in the RAF during the second world war
She has a problem with drink.
We all do.
I think she resents but loves me.

Comments would be great.
But please remember I am 17 and quite naive and stupid. So the poem is probably not as deep as it sounds.

Cheers

Comments

]]>Whatever......http://confessions567.blog.co.uk/2007/10/22/whatever~3176966/2007-10-22T14:31:32+02:00 <a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/l_8aa20888fc9afdf0445c88e692e1e2d3/2084091" title="l_8aa20888fc9afdf0445c88e692e1e2d3"><img src="http://data3.blog.de/media/091/2084091_4893fa9b3b_s.jpg" alt="l_8aa20888fc9afdf0445c88e692e1e2d3" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a> I've just realised my writing skills are awful but then again i was only average when it comes to achademic studies so i was never gona be another Victoria Beckham when it comes to talking about myself but then again i doubt she could string a half decent sentance together. I forgot to mention in my other blogs that I love singing. Its sorta what I wanna do but am not very hopeful about being successful, i just don't have the belief and will power, i give up easily. thats my motto: When it doubt give-up. I sing because its the only thing i am really good at and to be honest i am bloody good. it really winds me up when you see kids on x-factor with their pushy parents ( generally mothers) saying that they're really good and everyone in their family thinks so. Hello?! Theres a reason why its only your family who say you can sing. Tossers. They really piss me off. And they're generally quite ugly, i think its cruel what they do on x-factor, i went for it and did't even make it to see the judges. Probably because they could sense i was strong and wasn't going to burst into tears for the cameras and didn't have a sob story to tell like my parents are dead or something. So yeah i am a good singer in my own right and more than just my family have told me so thats how I know. I sound boring, shallow and like i have a big ego don't I? I am just writing how I feel and what comes into my head, i have never done this before and its helping me, so doesn't really matter if its crap. I like the fact that I have an ego in the performing arts industry you can't afford not to, otherwise you'd be ripped apart. All these lovies and thespians your surrounded by don't take any fucking prisoners so if you can't beat them join them. The only egotistical people that annoy me are girl singers who are my age, god they wind me up. Its just a constant battle with them and unless they are extra nice which they generally aren't, i make them not like me and despise me. In a way i am artificially confident. People who have ego's aren't neccessarily aresholes. My college friends all have quite big egos and generally love themselves, and aprt from a select few i love them. We really just one great big class full of ego's, and i don't think our new teahcer know's what to do with us. I am also quite open, we all are, i love that, people weren't like that in mum's day. Vicki who is the class lesbain came in the other day and stated that she had had sex with her girlfriend twice last night and made laura come on both occasions. Lovely. Emma, who is so confident its imtimidating always talks about her sex life in class, ot anyone who will listen. And then gay boy who isn't gay told us he had been sleeping with this 28 year old women for four months we couldn't wait to tell everyone and even the teacher congratualted him. I love my college friends, of course i could pick a fault with all of them, but they do make me happy and i really will be sad to leave them if i leave to go to the navy or to the singing school just thinking about it makes me sad. Even though we will try to keep in touch it will never be the same again. Ever. We will all move on and make new friends but i don't think i will ever forget them just those precious moments we shared. oh god pass the sick bucket. shut-up kate you big looser. but yeah you get the picture about.....well actually i don't no what the point in this blog was.... <a href="http://confessions567.blog.co.uk/2007/10/22/whatever~3176966/#comments">Comments</a>

I've just realised my writing skills are awful but then again i was only average when it comes to achademic studies so i was never gona be another Victoria Beckham when it comes to talking about myself but then again i doubt she could string a half decent sentance together.

I forgot to mention in my other blogs that I love singing. Its sorta what I wanna do but am not very hopeful about being successful, i just don't have the belief and will power, i give up easily. thats my motto: When it doubt give-up. I sing because its the only thing i am really good at and to be honest i am bloody good. it really winds me up when you see kids on x-factor with their pushy parents ( generally mothers) saying that they're really good and everyone in their family thinks so. Hello?! Theres a reason why its only your family who say you can sing. Tossers. They really piss me off. And they're generally quite ugly, i think its cruel what they do on x-factor, i went for it and did't even make it to see the judges. Probably because they could sense i was strong and wasn't going to burst into tears for the cameras and didn't have a sob story to tell like my parents are dead or something.

So yeah i am a good singer in my own right and more than just my family have told me so thats how I know. I sound boring, shallow and like i have a big ego don't I? I am just writing how I feel and what comes into my head, i have never done this before and its helping me, so doesn't really matter if its crap.

I like the fact that I have an ego in the performing arts industry you can't afford not to, otherwise you'd be ripped apart. All these lovies and thespians your surrounded by don't take any fucking prisoners so if you can't beat them join them. The only egotistical people that annoy me are girl singers who are my age, god they wind me up. Its just a constant battle with them and unless they are extra nice which they generally aren't, i make them not like me and despise me. In a way i am artificially confident. People who have ego's aren't neccessarily aresholes. My college friends all have quite big egos and generally love themselves, and aprt from a select few i love them. We really just one great big class full of ego's, and i don't think our new teahcer know's what to do with us. I am also quite open, we all are, i love that, people weren't like that in mum's day. Vicki who is the class lesbain came in the other day and stated that she had had sex with her girlfriend twice last night and made laura come on both occasions. Lovely. Emma, who is so confident its imtimidating always talks about her sex life in class, ot anyone who will listen. And then gay boy who isn't gay told us he had been sleeping with this 28 year old women for four months we couldn't wait to tell everyone and even the teacher congratualted him. I love my college friends, of course i could pick a fault with all of them, but they do make me happy and i really will be sad to leave them if i leave to go to the navy or to the singing school just thinking about it makes me sad. Even though we will try to keep in touch it will never be the same again. Ever. We will all move on and make new friends but i don't think i will ever forget them just those precious moments we shared. oh god pass the sick bucket. shut-up kate you big looser. but yeah you get the picture about.....well actually i don't no what the point in this blog was....

Comments

]]>title-3129493http://confessions567.blog.co.uk/2007/10/13/title~3129493/2007-10-13T14:31:49+02:00 Ok so my two day drinking session is over. Gutted. I may look like shit but i'm just getting warmed up baby! Thursday night was pretty dam good. I looked probs one of the best there, not much to compare to tho, the pics we were taking made me look a bit fat. That guy i liked tunred up and ignored me apart from saying hello so i was pretty miffed. This other guy that i kinda fancied kept asking my mate if i was 'up for it' so in the end i just got with him instead. Ended up 'sleeping' on the bathroom floor with him. Not good. I could hear my mate in the other room with his piece of stuff. It was vile so i ended up going downstairs after this guy had fallen asleep and sleeping on the sofa bed with the guy that i liked before. In the morning. well about half six we woke up and just sorta talked for abit. We tried to sleep and we kept getting our faces like really close but i thought he knew about me and this other guy so i didn't make a move was just going to wait for him too but he didn't but it was still awesome. People kept coming up to me in the morning whilest i was lying next to the guy of my dreams and say 'so you and john aye?' how fucking insensative just because i got with another guy doesn't mean i don't like the orginal one! So if he didn't no before he does now. Grrrrrrrr! Stupid me!. So John the complete areshole who obviously saw me lying in the bed next to this other guy put two and two together and came up with 5. So he left without so much as a 'call me'. Tosser. So the following evening I put my freakum dress on and headed on down to the White Hart in Sleaford for this pimps and whores fancy dress party. I've gotta say I looked smoking. It was pretty good i guess i bought the guy i liked a drink and he was being pretty friendly and stuff and i wasn't trying too hard but then my lesbian friend came up to me and was like 'i hear you got laid last night' oh my god how embaressing and this poor guy didn't know where to look, so i just thought fuck it, he thinks i am a slag he can think what he likes. Got drunk. Police were called. Tried to hug a police officer. Went home. Job done. Next! <a href="http://confessions567.blog.co.uk/2007/10/13/title~3129493/#comments">Comments</a> Ok so my two day drinking session is over. Gutted. I may look like shit but i'm just getting warmed up baby! Thursday night was pretty dam good. I looked probs one of the best there, not much to compare to tho, the pics we were taking made me look a bit fat. That guy i liked tunred up and ignored me apart from saying hello so i was pretty miffed. This other guy that i kinda fancied kept asking my mate if i was 'up for it' so in the end i just got with him instead. Ended up 'sleeping' on the bathroom floor with him. Not good. I could hear my mate in the other room with his piece of stuff. It was vile so i ended up going downstairs after this guy had fallen asleep and sleeping on the sofa bed with the guy that i liked before. In the morning. well about half six we woke up and just sorta talked for abit. We tried to sleep and we kept getting our faces like really close but i thought he knew about me and this other guy so i didn't make a move was just going to wait for him too but he didn't but it was still awesome. People kept coming up to me in the morning whilest i was lying next to the guy of my dreams and say 'so you and john aye?' how fucking insensative just because i got with another guy doesn't mean i don't like the orginal one! So if he didn't no before he does now. Grrrrrrrr! Stupid me!. So John the complete areshole who obviously saw me lying in the bed next to this other guy put two and two together and came up with 5. So he left without so much as a 'call me'. Tosser. So the following evening I put my freakum dress on and headed on down to the White Hart in Sleaford for this pimps and whores fancy dress party. I've gotta say I looked smoking. It was pretty good i guess i bought the guy i liked a drink and he was being pretty friendly and stuff and i wasn't trying too hard but then my lesbian friend came up to me and was like 'i hear you got laid last night' oh my god how embaressing and this poor guy didn't know where to look, so i just thought fuck it, he thinks i am a slag he can think what he likes. Got drunk. Police were called. Tried to hug a police officer. Went home. Job done. Next!

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]]>title-3073826http://confessions567.blog.co.uk/2007/10/02/title~3073826/2007-10-02T17:24:11+02:00 Well i'm excited. I have been invited to a fancy dress party next Friday in Sleford. The theme is pimps and whores. I have already decided what I am wearing, a purple mini dress, red lipstick maybe some fish nets, killer heels and fake eyelashes. I will look the dogs bollocks. The only trouble is when I get dressed up there is always someone looking better than me and it turns out i don't look as good as i originally thought i did from the photos. I look overweight and drunk. Which, in essence sums me up perfectly. There is a guy going that i really like so i am not going to get that drunk, because i am complete arse when i am drunk. But if there is some size 8 model i am soooo going to smack that bitch up! No but seriusly what i suppose i'll do is getting wreeeking in a corner and then insult everyone and have to go home early. It all rests in this guy's taste. Does he like twigs or the chunkier variety? My pimp has to be the campest person I know. Bless him. But its not about the size of your pimp its what you do with it <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> I'll only ditch him when i get there. I told my mum what the theme was and she was like oh thats nice dear. And i told my dad and he was like you are not going out dressed like a whore! He did the whole high and mighty thing when he really couldn't give a toss. My dads like that. Oh yeah! Because sleaford is quite a way away, i have nowhere to stay, and this girl on my course lives not far from there. I found out that she had asked my other friends to stay at hers but not me! I always thought she had a problem with me! So i am gonna invite myself. But shes the type of person who'll say no! And its just because i got really drunk at hers once and smashed and oil lamp and then the next time i got realy really drunk and threw up over her brothers mattress but we flipped it so she didn't know. And then had to go to bed early! but i apologised! what more does she want. <a href="http://confessions567.blog.co.uk/2007/10/02/title~3073826/#comments">Comments</a> Well i'm excited. I have been invited to a fancy dress party next Friday in Sleford. The theme is pimps and whores. I have already decided what I am wearing, a purple mini dress, red lipstick maybe some fish nets, killer heels and fake eyelashes. I will look the dogs bollocks. The only trouble is when I get dressed up there is always someone looking better than me and it turns out i don't look as good as i originally thought i did from the photos. I look overweight and drunk. Which, in essence sums me up perfectly.
There is a guy going that i really like so i am not going to get that drunk, because i am complete arse when i am drunk. But if there is some size 8 model i am soooo going to smack that bitch up! No but seriusly what i suppose i'll do is getting wreeeking in a corner and then insult everyone and have to go home early. It all rests in this guy's taste. Does he like twigs or the chunkier variety?

My pimp has to be the campest person I know. Bless him. But its not about the size of your pimp its what you do with it I'll only ditch him when i get there.

I told my mum what the theme was and she was like oh thats nice dear. And i told my dad and he was like you are not going out dressed like a whore! He did the whole high and mighty thing when he really couldn't give a toss. My dads like that.

Oh yeah! Because sleaford is quite a way away, i have nowhere to stay, and this girl on my course lives not far from there. I found out that she had asked my other friends to stay at hers but not me! I always thought she had a problem with me! So i am gonna invite myself. But shes the type of person who'll say no! And its just because i got really drunk at hers once and smashed and oil lamp and then the next time i got realy really drunk and threw up over her brothers mattress but we flipped it so she didn't know. And then had to go to bed early! but i apologised! what more does she want.

Comments

]]>title-3063305http://confessions567.blog.co.uk/2007/09/30/title~3063305/2007-09-30T17:43:15+02:00 I felt really sorry for Rupert Grint last night he had to watch as his two co-stars won awards where he recived nothing. Bless. I started my new job today at Laura Ashley. Just as I expected. Full of well-spoken 'pretty' girls and women. All of them with flat stomachs and admitadly better haircuts than mine. But I played up to them so they didn't suspect I was just a commoner from the slums <img src="/img/smilies/icon_lol.gif" alt=":DD" class="middle" border="0"> I also told them all I was joining the navy after I had finished my college course to see how it sounded. They sounded impressed. I thought to myself if I keep saying that I am then I might actually end up doing it. We'll see. Came home to find parents drunk. Disappointed in mum. Thought she might stay sober just to hear how my day went. Not sure who the selfish one is with that. <a href="http://confessions567.blog.co.uk/2007/09/30/title~3063305/#comments">Comments</a> I felt really sorry for Rupert Grint last night he had to watch as his two co-stars won awards where he recived nothing. Bless.

I started my new job today at Laura Ashley. Just as I expected. Full of well-spoken 'pretty' girls and women. All of them with flat stomachs and admitadly better haircuts than mine. But I played up to them so they didn't suspect I was just a commoner from the slums :DD

I also told them all I was joining the navy after I had finished my college course to see how it sounded. They sounded impressed. I thought to myself if I keep saying that I am then I might actually end up doing it. We'll see.

Came home to find parents drunk. Disappointed in mum. Thought she might stay sober just to hear how my day went. Not sure who the selfish one is with that.

Comments

]]>confessions of a teenage drama queenhttp://confessions567.blog.co.uk/2007/09/29/confessions_of_a_teenage_drama_queen~3058591/2007-09-29T16:21:18+02:00 Well, where to start. Never done a blog before. Never really felt the need to. My names Kate and i live somewhere in England. I am 17 and am currently single. Recently I have becoming increasingly frustrated with life. Everything and everyone seems to be mortals as I struggle with the concept of growing up and the increasing possibility that I might someday have to wipe my own arse. I was accepted last week into a singing school in Acton, London. Great, I thought, non-stop partying to but even more strain on my regretably buggered liver. And a place of my own where I can do what and who I like. My parents, however god bless them have other ideas. 'You'll have to get a job you know' my mother whittled on as we drove home. No, oh well done Kate for getting in but just constant nagging. I swear that womens got a degree in it. My dad is more resiliant and seems to think that the softer approach is more effectable. Basically he's a push over. You really can tell who wears the trousers in their so called partner ship ( my parents never married and are not 'together' but live under the same roof and call themselves 'partners'). To be honest I have no idea what I want to do in life. Be rich. live rich. die rich. simple. Then there is the navy. This idea came to me suddenly one night. As my grandfather was in the RAF as a pilot in the second world war I have found yet another way to impress my family with my elaborate ideas and statements. So it boils down to the navy or singing school? I really have got a lot of thinking to do. <a href="http://confessions567.blog.co.uk/2007/09/29/confessions_of_a_teenage_drama_queen~3058591/#comments">Comments</a> Well, where to start. Never done a blog before. Never really felt the need to. My names Kate and i live somewhere in England. I am 17 and am currently single. Recently I have becoming increasingly frustrated with life. Everything and everyone seems to be mortals as I struggle with the concept of growing up and the increasing possibility that I might someday have to wipe my own arse. I was accepted last week into a singing school in Acton, London. Great, I thought, non-stop partying to but even more strain on my regretably buggered liver. And a place of my own where I can do what and who I like. My parents, however god bless them have other ideas. 'You'll have to get a job you know' my mother whittled on as we drove home. No, oh well done Kate for getting in but just constant nagging. I swear that womens got a degree in it. My dad is more resiliant and seems to think that the softer approach is more effectable. Basically he's a push over. You really can tell who wears the trousers in their so called partner ship ( my parents never married and are not 'together' but live under the same roof and call themselves 'partners'). To be honest I have no idea what I want to do in life. Be rich. live rich. die rich. simple. Then there is the navy. This idea came to me suddenly one night. As my grandfather was in the RAF as a pilot in the second world war I have found yet another way to impress my family with my elaborate ideas and statements. So it boils down to the navy or singing school? I really have got a lot of thinking to do.

Comments

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